Traffic Zoology

There is a secret zoo that runs encaged along thelong stretches through lonely wilderness and
roads.They are liquid, semi-visible goliaths that ragesemi-tundra, nascent traffic animals have a long
through the streams and chunks of ordinary traffic,period in which to mature before coming against
with the effervescent tendrils of mile-long talesobstacles like influxes of new cars or navigating
whipping behind them like Chinese dragons. Thougharound towns; and because the highway wends its
composed of hundreds of pounds of steel, glass andway directly through most of Canada's major cities, it
plastic, they are able to pass through solid objects.provides a handy litmus test for the homeostatic
They are bound by the laws of the highway, but notintegrity of a given specimen simply by observing
by any conventional notion of time or space.They arewhether or not it makes it through to the other side
Aggregate Traffic Animals: a menagerie of emergentof the urban area intact.While daytime ATA
beasts drawn from the interacting behaviours offormation is not rare, it is under the cover of
many individual human beings driving many individualdarkness that development can proceed in a
cars with many individual goals, their collective activitycomparatively unfettered fashion. This is due in large
giving rise to something with greater presence,part to the more abstract, disconnected experience
power and purpose than the sum of its constituents.of interacting with other vehicles merely as points of
They take on a host of different forms, each tocoloured light. Familiar prejudices and stereotypes --
serve a different end.They are real, and they drivepotential sources of destructive competition -- are
among us.PreambleIn his introduction to Thesmoothed out by the shadows. At least on the basis
Extended Phenotype (Oxford University Press, 1982)of visual impressions, a Volvo and a Camaro can
enthusiastic evolutionary biology cheerleader andenter a system as peers.Diminished visibility resulting
Commodore-hacking pop-science guru Richardfrom mild to moderate weather conditions can have
Dawkins invites us to consider the Necker Cubea similar equalising effect, but when conditions
Illusion: a two-dimensional image representing twobecome too severe drivers tend to clump into packs
interlocked three-dimensional blocks in which thefor safety, leading to pseudo-ATA fleets that are all
foreground and background can seem to flip backtoo conscious social events (as in the Quintana Roo
and forth as the brain fruitlessly seeks the "true"experience).Show me an autumn stretch of prairie
interpretation of the depicted space. This is Dawkins'transcontinental highway at twilight, and I will show
starting point for a thought experiment in which heyou the secret zoo of the road.Typical
blurs the lines between species, their genes and theMorphologiesThe most basic form of multi-car life is
environment, calling into question the traditionalthe Asipetal Caterpillar, also known as a worm.
boundaries drawn through biological systems toWorms begin when a stable solo vehicle spawns a
identify the relevant level of study. To wit, tolinear, single-lane chain of vehicles composed of loose
wank:We look at life and begin by seeing a collectionmonomers joining at the rear (a closely related, but
of interacting individual organisms. We know thatdysfunctional, construct known as an Acropetal
they contain smaller units, and we know that theyCaterpillar grows by adding vehicles to the front of
are, in turn, parts of larger composite units, but wethe chain, generally leading to destructive diffusion or
fix our gaze on the whole organisms. Then suddenlyautolysis). Short, lithe worms are the fundamental
the image flips. The individual bodies are still there;building blocks of healthy ATA tissue. Perverse,
they have not moved, but they seem to have gonelong-form worms are the seeds of congestion and
transparent...In other words, if you are able todeath.The second atomic element of ATA tissue
de-emphasise the organism itself you are free tostands in stark contrast to the worm, for it is a
appreciate the idea of beaver ponds as artificial lakesfleeting thing, and when it takes concrete form at all
generated by beaver genes, or to see a spider's webit is often manifested as a single car. The Apparent
as an arrangement of silk drawn by DNA. ByCoxswain is a vehicle that appears, to the conscious
extending the lines with which we bound theor semi-conscious mind of one or more drivers, to be
traditional phenotype, we define new organisms,a leader of the worm. When the Apparent Coxswain
merging technology and individuals into communitieschanges lanes, there is a higher probability that a
the same way that ancient micro-organismsmajority of the worm will follow suit than if the
interacting inside bilipid membranes fell into symbioticchange were initiated by a less trusted vehicle. In
lockstep dances to found the first stablemany cases each car in a worm perceives the car
cells.Organelles, cells, bodies, herds: at which level weimmediately ahead of it to be the Apparent
discern the animal is purely a matter of focus.ThisCoxswain, leading to domino-effect lane-transitions;
idea of the emergent animal or "super-organism" issuch formations have high homeostatic integrity
hardly particular to Dawkins: William Morton Wheelerbecause of the worm's ability to "find a new head"
remarked on the idea in his 1911 paper "The Antshould one Apparent Coxswain be lost to the
Colony as an Organism" in a treatment that is everycurrents. (Please note: the Apparent Coxswain should
bit as cogent but with considerably less otaku chicnot be confused with the Virtual Coxswain or the
than Kevin Kelly's printed-soundbyte manifesto onNapoleonic Coxswain, discussed below.)Formations
hive complexity, Out of Control (Perseus Books,that achieve such integration become Cholingers:
1994). In the words of Kelly:There is nothing to beAsipetal Caterpillars with tightly-integrated internal
found in a beehive that is not submerged in a bee.feedback systems of Apparent Coxswains, capable
And yet you can search a bee forever withof transmitting information from tip to tail with high
cyclotron and fluoroscope, and you will never find afidelity. Cholingers can slither to avoid torn tyres on
hive.So too can you examine a driver in a car andthe road, twitch around slow-moving vehicles, and
know nothing about the greater animal in which theyeven slip through packs of alien worms, wild axenes
both participate when the circumstances are right.and other traffic froth to arrive on the other side
Some of the applicable forces can be seen mostintact.Of course, not all Cholingers slip through the
clearly in the rarified environment of the professionalstrangers: sometimes they interact.Every Cholinger is
race course, as explored by David Ronfeldt, a senioreither benthic or pelagic. Benthic Cholingers travel at a
social scientist at RAND, in his 2002 paper Socialsimilar rate to the currents of the road, while Pelagic
Science at 190 MPH on NASCAR's BiggestCholingers travel at a dissimilar rate when compared
Superspeedways, where fleeting moments ofto other traffic (typically a faster rate). It is possible,
co-operation between rivals are necessary in order tohowever, for a benthic line to be picked up and
win. Ronfeldt focuses in particular on thecarried along by a pelagic cousin, leading to a coupled
phenomenon of draft line formation, which is similarform. This is the first real Aggregate Traffic Animal
to the way flocking birds can share aerodynamicwe will meet tonight: a bilaterally asymmetrical
advantage. Like iron filings in a magnetic field, thediageotrope known as the Epiphysian Cyclosalp.Within
large-scale distribution of opportunistically partneringthe body of the Cyclosalp the individual Cholingers are
cars are drawn into predictable macro-scale patternstransmuted into a pair of Librigenates -- stretchy,
across the speedway:Once the racers sortfree-flowing tissue that is bounded in space by the
themselves out - after ten to twenty laps - it isrelationship with its partner, the accelerating pelagic
common to see a single draft line of four to sevenlobe sliding forward and the steady benthic lobe
cars running in front, pursued a hundred or so yardscatching up in a slow-motion slingshot, compressing
back by a second line of cars, all another hundred orand expanding between the loose, senseless clumps
so yards ahead of a large pack of cars that may stillof other cars. This accordion-like effect might initially
be running in parallel lines but are doing more dicingseem to be a force tearing the animal apart, rending
than drafting...Cars that run alone, often stuckpelagic from benthic -- and this is indeed what might
dangerously between two draft lines, will appear tohappen in too rarified an atmosphere -- but when
drift irrevocably backward.Freed of the bonds ofpresented with obstacles of any kind, the
racing's formalism, the Aggregate Traffic Animals areLibrigenates that comprise the Cyclosalp fall back on
born, rooted in transient symbioses betweentheir Cholinger heritage of local integrity, crystallising
individual patches of drivers that will crystalise intoen masse to navigate the hazard.Unfettered, the
the organs of the beast. But the circumstances haveEpiphysian Cyclosalp is like half a butterfly, its riparian
to be just right for one to emerge. The unholybody gilded by a slowly flapping wing of accelerating,
Hieronymus Bosch-style concert of homicidalgliding Librigenates ebbing and flowing in a stately
applied-shadenfreude that may characterise yourround. Its insides whorl as partners switch places,
urban, intra-urban or sub-urban driving experience isbenthic turning briefly pelagic, pacer cars joining a
not ripe ground for ATA growth: too frothy.Therippling pulse of local inertia forward, headlights
sociological and scatological dances of the megalopoliscross-sweeping.It is beyond the scope of this article
rushhour, too, are beyond the scope of this article,to detail the myriad circumstances that provide seed
and are at any rate most likely best explored withfor the profitable entanglement of multiple Cyclosalpic
deep computer simulations using high-tech cellularstreams. So diverse are the possibilities that we could
automata tools with average driver profiles linked tofill a Biblical tome without scratching the surface,
real-world statistics of roadway usage coupled withwithout revealing the common thread of simplicity
an army of ten thousand angry ax-wielding orcsupon which the complexity hinges. Suffice to say the
battling an equal number of obedientlarger clade includes such varied forms as the
clonetroopers.Rather, this field is perfect fodder forwhiplashing Epinastic Tricyclosalp, the many-fingered
the amateur ethologist, observing phenomena with aDicyclosalp Fimbriatum, and the diaphanous, fleeting
keen eye, an open mind and a sharp pencil. And whilewonder of the mile-long Merosporangic
much has been written about manipulating trafficSuper-Cyclosalp...Of course, not all Asipetal Caterpillars
waves, the dynamics of traffic jams andgrow up to become stately Cholingers; instead, they
phase-transitions in traffic density, very little time haslock into Lego-like bricks of uniform properties called
been devoted to the observation and cataloguing ofPycnoblastoids. While short-lived Apiculate
persistent multi-car zoomorphia.Early ObservationsThePycnoblastoids (in which the Apparent Coxswain is
author first became aware of the existence of ATAsalways the most forward car) are more common, it
while making his way through the hinterland ofis the more flexible Laxiflorous Pycnoblastoid (in which
Canada on a long, mid-winter solo drive in a decrepitthe Apparent Coxswain is any car except that most
Dodge Charger with no functioning radio. Due to hisforward) that lives a more fruitful life.For instance,
dangerous penchant for immersive daydreaming inconsider the case of a typical composite entity like a
the absence of external stimuli, he began to parasiteTripycnoblastic Oomycotum, in which independent
his driving decisions by locking in behind another carpycnoblasts jockey for position internally directly or
with comparable speed ambitions. By reserving aby proxy through one or more Napoleonic Coxswains
sliver of awareness for tracking the red brake lights(that is, drivers who suffer from the delusion that
of the "lead" car for changes in speed or direction,they are single-handedly responsible for steering
the author was able to comfortably enjoy his tranceleading their local sub-structure). The domino-line
while a hefty burden of road awareness wasbehaviour of an Apiculate Pycnoblastoid makes it too
outsourced to the other driver, causing the front carbrittle to survive the stresses of being permeated by
to function as a sort of early warning mechanism fora competing pycnoblast, whereas the comparatively
changing conditions (including the Mounties'elastic structure of the Laxifloroid -- imparted due to
speed-traps).The notion resurfaced while the authorthe inherent time delay involved in co-ordinating with
was wrestling a dented Volkswagen Rabbit rentala mid-fleet Apparent Coxswain -- retains a perfect
down a twisting, pot-holed two-lane jungle highwaybalance of rigidity and looseness, riding a line between
through the Mexican state of Quintana Roo. As theorchestration and dissolution that makes composite
journey began he found himself hedged inside a shortforms like Oomycota possible.Pycnoblastic tissue is
parade of other tourists, all driving their rental carsunusual in that it makes use of some level of
out of the airport at around the same time at aawareness on the part of the driver that they are
hesitant pace, breaking frequently to process theparticipating in a formation (though drivers are only
unfamiliar leafy darkness ahead. Fearing injury, thelikely to be aware of the local level of structure).
author laterally-leapfrogged the indecisive parade andWhen this awareness reaches a certain level the
drove on into the murk alone. Remembering hiscomposite entity is usually destroyed by internal
success in the far north, he latched onto the back ofstresses, but occasionally a dissolving multi-pycnoblast
a local vehicle (a home-modded convertible Beetlewill emit a stream of highly energised vehicles -- the
carrying ten people, standing room only), using itsApheresoid Lirellate, a concentrated apiculatoid
varying speed as an indicator of road conditions.pycnoblast flung free from the miasma of death to
Unexpectedly, this move was noticed by several ofrocket away, using for a coxswain the abandoned
the other tourists, who began to fight to separatecarcass itself....These are but the fringes of the zoo,
themselves from the melee and join the newer,the tip of the iceberg.We have not even touched on
more surefooted pack that was rapidly pullingthe sensitive antennae of the Stipitate Phototaxites
ahead...By the time the author had reached his exitfringed with Virtual Coxswains, pseudo-lead cars
the impromptu fleet of vehicles had become aready to be sacrificed to trip any trap, the chaotic
persistent, homeostatic phenomenon. The fleet hadwrath of the Biflagellate Ableptic Figmo and the fate
quickly learned to manipulate the spacing between itsof the cystidial flotsam locked within them; the weird
components in order to remain permeable to fasterrhythms of the Cacospysic Super-Barbicanoids and
moving local traffic while defending its integritytheir elaborate dance of shifting coxswains, the
against more disruptive external vehicles. Pulses ofmajesty of the motorcycle-based Raging Fallaxoid;
communication signifying when the passing lane wasthe menagerie of endless cancers that can grow
clear rippled down the chain through a conscientiousfrom unexpectorated papillic granulomae, from
leaning into the gravel shoulder, assisting in thecataracts of geriatric nektons, or from
process of expectorating invaders. Several of theservice-stations with badly planned driveways.Further
original tourist vehicles ended up being swapped outStudyThe study of a new order of life is not without
for other vehicles without rocking the boat. Later on,its risks, both professional (in terms of reputation)
even the leader was swapped out for anotherand practical (in terms of being maimed by
experienced local car.It was a fetching game,mis-navigated vehicles). The amateur automotive
contributing to the welfare of all of its players in anethologist must not only have keen skills of
interesting way, but it was not a true ATA. It wasobservation, but also the fortitude to persevere
too conscious a contrivance to be anything moredespite the slings and arrows of dubious dissenters.
than a delightful spontaneous social event.You see, aLike Leeuwenhoek's controversial animalcules and
distributed animal with human components can bePasteur's superstition-defying microbes, there will
very sensitive to perturbations from within. It is onlyalways exist a certain testudinal resistance to new
when the conflicting threads of goals, reasoning andideas among older quarters. There will be those who
competition between individual human minds aredoubt the very existence of aggregate vehicular life,
quietened into the background noise that the soil canor who insist that the zoo of the road dwells in
truly be ripe to raise a complex beast. When driversmetaphor alone.The opinions of such sceptics could
can fall into a semi-hypnotic state and their herdbe changed by a single night spent on a grassy hill
instincts take over, the seeds are laid for somethingoverlooking a well-travelled country highway,
greater.HabitatWhile there are thousands of trafficwatching the streams of red and silver lights merge
animal breeding grounds along the paved networks ofand split, compress and attenuate, roil and interact,
the world, only one driving region has beenfatten and reproduce...Watch the roads, and see the
extensively explored at this time, largely due tozoo for yourself. There is no denying its patterns of
budgetary considerations.The TransCanada Highwayinsectile purpose, its myriad variations in anatomy and
is a nearly ideal environment for the production ofconfiguration, or the orchestrated madness of the
large-scale ATA phenomena, due in great part to thelow-cost petroleum feeding frenzy. Your own mind,
simplicity of its shape: all cars are moving eitherhoned by thousands of generations of natural
westbound or eastbound, streamlining the goals ofselection to recognise life from non-life, will tell you it
the drivers in much the same way as the shape ofis true; the disciplines of careful observation and
the Daytona superspeedway encourages draftingmeticulous classification will tell you how, and
partnerships (see above). Also, because there arewhy.Open your eyes, and witness an untapped world.